Monday, January 23, 2012

Smile a Little Mondays {week 2}

Little Kids :)

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor thy father and thy mother," she asked, "is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" 

Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family of seven) answered, "Thou shall not kill!"

One night a mother told her son to go out to the back porch and bring her the broom. The little boy turned to his mother and said, "Mama, I don't want to go out there. It's dark."

The mother smiled reassuringly at her son. you don't have to be afraid of the dark," she explained. "Jesus is out there He'll look after you and protect you."

The little boy looked at his mother real hard and asked, "Are you sure he's out there?"

"Yes, I'm sure . He is everywhere, and he is always ready to help you when you need him." she said.

The little boy thought about that for a minute and then went to the back door and cracked it a little. Peering out into the darkness, he called, "Jesus? If you're out there, would you please hand me the broom?"

A man scolded his son for being so unruly and the child rebelled against his father.
He got some of his clothes, his teddy bear and his piggy bank and proudly announced, "I'm running away from home!".
The father calmly decided to look at the matter logically. "What if you get hungry?", he said.
"Then I'll come home and eat!", bravely declared the child. "And what if you run out of money?". "I will come home and get some!", readily replied the child.
The man then made a final attempt, "What if your clothes get dirty?".
"Then I'll come home and let mommy wash them.", was the reply.
The man shook his head and exclaimed, "This kid is not running away from home, he's going off to college!!".

A minister was giving the children's message during church.
For this part of the service, he would gather all the children around him and give a brief lesson before dismissing them.
On this particular Sunday, he was using squirrels for an object lesson on industry and preparation. He started out by saying, "I'm going to describe something, and I want you to raise your hand when you know what it is." The children nodded eagerly.

"This thing lives in trees (pause) and eats nuts (pause)..." No hands went up. "And it is gray (pause) and has a long bushy tail (pause)..." The children were looking at each other, but still no hands raised. "And it jumps from branch to branch (pause) and chatters and flips its tail when it's excited (pause)..."

Finally one little boy tentatively raised his hand. The minister breathed a sigh of relief and called on him.

"Well," said the boy, "I know the answer you're looking for is supposed to be 'Jesus' ... but it sure sounds like a squirrel to me."

A Grandmother was surprised by her 7 year old grandson one morning when he had made her coffee. She drank what was the worst cup of coffee in her life. When she got to the bottom there were three of those little green army men in the cup. She said, "Honey, what are the army men doing in my coffee?"

Her grandson said, "Grandma, it says on TV-'The best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup!'"

A mother took her five-year-old son with her to the bank on a busy lunchtime.
They got behind a very fat woman wearing a business suit complete with pager.

As they waited patiently, the little boy said loudly, 'Gee, she's fat!' The mother bent down and whispered in the little boys ear to be quiet. A couple of minutes passed by and the little boy spread his hands as far as they would go and announced;

'I'll bet her butt is this wide!'

The fat woman turns around and glares at the little boy. The mother gave him a good telling off, and told him to be quiet. After a brief lull, the large woman reached the front of the line. Just then, her pager began to emit a
Beep, beep, beep
The little boy yells out, 'Run for your life, she's backing up!!

Have a happy Monday, you guys :)

~Peace, love, balloons~


  1. How cute! Boy-that last one is crazy,but my siblings used to do the same. So not fun.

  2. Oh my gosh, I'm cracking up! X"D Seriously, funny posts are the best. I can't even pick a favorite :D

    Diary of a Beautiful Soul

  3. i love little rascals! especially that part!

  4. I'm glad you all enjoyed the post! :)

    Artsy Mermaid: YES I am in love with them! They make me laugh so hard :)

  5. "Jesus, would you hand me the broom?" love. it.



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