Smile a Little Monday {week 6}

You know the person who wrote these labels on the companies' products got paid big bucks for these ;)

On Sears hairdryer:

Do not use while sleeping.

(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:

You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:

Directions: Use like regular soap.

(and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:

Serving suggestion: Defrost.

(But it's just a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)

Do not turn upside down.

(Mwahaha! You lose!)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:

Do not iron clothes on body.

(But wouldn't that save more time?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:

Do not drive car or operate machinery.

(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:

Warning: may cause drowsiness.

(One can only hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:

Warning: keep out of children.

(hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation...)

On a string of Christmas lights:

For indoor or outdoor use only.

(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor:

Not to be used for the other use.

(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:

Warning: contains nuts.

(No way! Really?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:

Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.

(Wow. That was...like...amazing)

On a Swedish chainsaw:

Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.

(Thank you for telling me this. You have just saved me a lot of pain.)

On a child's Superman costume:

Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.

(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

Liquid Plummer

Warning: Do not reuse the bottle to store beverages.

(This is important stuff, you better listen)

Toilet Plunger
Caution: Do not use near power lines.

(What will happen if I do? Do I even want to know?)

~Peace, love, Sweetheart(Haymitch, you crack me up)~